He Called It the 'Strait of Trump' and Then Said That Was on Purpose

Honey, I’ve watched a man drop a full plate of enchiladas on the floor, look right at the customer, and say “that’s exactly what I meant to do.”

I’ve seen it with my own two eyes.

But I have never — not once in thirty-one years of waitressing — seen a man do it on an international stage in front of cameras, about a body of water that twenty percent of the world’s oil passes through.

He called it the Strait of Trump. At the FII Priority Summit in Miami. Just rolled right out of his mouth like it was nothing. And when folks noticed, he didn’t skip a beat. Puffed right up and said — I want you to hear this clearly — “There’s no accidents with me.”

No accidents.

This is the man who has extended the same war pause three different times because he keeps forgetting to finish the war. This is the man who traded ten days of not bombing Iran for some oil boats. There are no accidents, he says.

Then, according to people who follow these things, he actually floated the idea of formally renaming the strait. The Strait of Trump. A waterway that has been called the Strait of Hormuz for about two and a half thousand years. He wanted to put his name on it like it was a casino that was about to go bankrupt.

And here’s the cherry on top: his approval rating hit a record low this week. A record. Not a slump, not a rough patch — a record low. More people disapprove of this man right now than have ever disapproved of him at any point in his political life, and he’s out here trying to rename the Persian Gulf.

I don’t know what the opposite of self-awareness is, but they ought to name that after him too.

You need anything else, sugar? I got coffee and I got sympathy, and I’m running low on both.

---

Sweetpea Diner, Somewhere in West Texas — Open 6 to 2, closed on the Lord’s Day, open on our patience.